Rogue One: An (Average) Star Wars Story

Sans a droid and the closing moments, ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ is an average movie.

Entertaining?  Absolutely.

Worth the price of the admission?  Yes.

Best Star Wars movie ever – f*ck no.

Force choke yourself if you exited the movie believing this idea.  Simply not having (mild spoiler alert) Jar-Jar Binks (I know Jar-Jar’s 12 fans are disappointed by his absence – again) ensures that Rogue One is better than Episode I & II.  Better than III, IV, V, VI, or VII?!  No.

Rogue One’s (R1’s) short comings come in the form of a rushed plot, simple script and dialogue, and bland presentation.  The only instances in which I sensed any emotional investment or gravitational pull towards a character was with thd entertaining drone (his witty one liners become stale by movie’s end) and nostalgic characters from other episodes.  Simply plugging an average script into the Star Wars universe does not make for a compelling movie.

You’re left wanting more.  Rogue One feels like Disney knew they needed to deliver ice cream but they gave us vanilla.  I like ice cream, however, it’s really hard to f*ck up ice cream.

Rogue One will satisfy your Star Wars appetite until Episode VIII – but, nothing more.


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